Having fixed ideas of what you want — which usually boil down to looks and little else — could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys. Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative. Say what you like to do, who you want to be with, and why people should date you. This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world.
All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us. What does that even mean? If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities. I can tell you right off that the bat that there are plenty of folks who have found satisfaction and success in these apps and I that I am not one of those people.
I can say though that my unique case should not be something to discourage you from exploring these apps. Grindr is in many ways the progenitor of all gay mobile dating apps that exist today. It was the first location based gay social networking app to hit the Apple App Store and many of the features included in the app can be found in the apps that followed its success.
If you are looking for a more serious type of predicament to get yourself into you, then you should consider doing yourself a favor and trying out another app.
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Just becauce Grindr was the first, in no way means it's the best. When this old man years-old first started using these apps, Scruff came off as being for bears, jocks and other burly, barrelish, Gaston-like men. Now Scruff has largely become one of the more widespread apps used by gay men today. I personally found it to be not very user friendly when I first discovered it, but did admire the amount of detail users were allowed to go into on their profiles.
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The app has gone through redesigns and is much more user friendly. Scruff though, much like Grindr, is still mostly popular for getting a good old fashioned hookup.
Tinder was how I slaughtered time. Waiting for the bus? Waiting in line for an hour at Trader Joes?
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On a date with a guy from Tinder? OkCupid started out primarily as dating Web site that developed an excellent app version of its services. OkCupid has all the thinly veiled illusions of dignity that comes with legit dating websites, but with some of the same results of Grindr. Truly, a meeting of the best of both worlds. Coffee Meets Bagel is essentially a far more slowed down version of Tinder with a couple of other features that set it apart. Everyday you are provided a match by the app and you either like them or pass on them.
If you pass you are given the chance to buy another match. If you like your match and they like you back as well, then a private chat line is opened in the app for you to talk to eachother.
Somehow the slowed down nature of the app makes it a more serious environment and thus leads to more serious people. With this in mind, here's a guide to navigating the apps without accidentally or, you know, intentionally, you dick acting like a douchebag. Some apps are for arranging dates and making new friends; others lend themselves to scheduling more I'm guessing you don't need me to tell you which do what Grindr, I see you.
If you're on an app that's mainly used for hook-ups, keep small talk to a minimum. There's a time and place for asking a guy about his favorite Britney deep cut, and it's not when he's just sent a totally earth-shattering nude. Sometimes a guy will recognize me on a sex app and message me to say he enjoyed an article I wrote. I'm always flattered, but then slightly disappointed that he didn't also ask me to bang.
Hey, I'm human. Even on a hook-up app, it's definitely possible to let someone down gently. If he doesn't take the hint, tell him your mom's in town and insists on vetting every guy you meet. Just like that, he'll be up out your face. These days, straight-up racists aside, more insidious forms of discrimination can and do creep in.
Find love with the best LGBT dating apps for iOS and Android
When someone asks, "Where are you from? Similarly, think twice before putting something like "Venezuelan guys to the front" on your profile. You may think you're playfully expressing a preference, but really you're fetishizing someone for his ethnicity.
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Does being "masc" make him better in bed or a more loving potential boyfriend? Of course not.
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And in my experience, he'll probably end up doing a Miss Vanjie impression after his third drink, anyway. Look, no one can tell you what should or shouldn't turn you on. We all have different tastes and that's what makes sex and dating so exciting.